What made you stop being an addict?

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.

And I can also talk to them now.

Do older women know what they want?

I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

This was February 2019.

I did it in my administrator's office.

Official website of the International Federation of Sport Climbing. - ifsc climbing

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

How do you write lyrics for a song that resonates with listeners?

And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

What would happen if the US government told the British government in no uncertain terms all RAF bases with USAF personnel now must follow the Constitution and us law, and if the UK tried to defy this, the US military would directly attack the UK?

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

How can I remove decimals in math?

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

Can relationship issues cause depression?

There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

Atheists, there is a god up there in heaven and he loves you so much that he sent his son to die the worst death imaginable and then to turn into a zombie all to save you from sin. Why do you reject him?

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

Just keep trying

What is the belief about the existence of past lives and memories? Do we have knowledge of our past lives at birth or does it come back to us gradually?

All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

What is your first experience having sex with older men?

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

Now how do you quit your addiction?

Why do untreated borderlines always blame their partners when they actually think they are normal?

Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

Read that again ☝️

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

So I'm still hanging on this lie.

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕